Moving beyond the “shoulds” in photography

There’s more than one way to create images you love to see

Now before we step back into a different era…

This story may not seem to be about photography at first, but bear with me, because it does eventually circle back.

If you’d rather skip straight to the photography part, you can jump ahead here

A long time ago – long before social media, online tutorials and reels offering endless advice and opinions – there was a movie I kept being told I had to see.

That movie - Star Wars. Apparently everybody had seen it except me.

Through the late 70s and 80s, Star Wars had developed something of a cult following, which I guess still exists today, and I remember many moments over the years where people seemed genuinely shocked that I hadn’t seen it - often followed by comments like:

“How have you never seen Star Wars?”

“You have to see it.”

“You should watch it.”

Looking back now, I can see that maybe there was a quiet resistance in me whenever I felt told what I should do or had to do.

It wasn’t just movies either. I found myself hearing similar kinds of phrases in many areas of life, like when planning to travel.

“You should go here.”

“You have to see this.”

“You must do…”

So maybe the same thing was happening there too, because the more I heard those words, the less interested I became in following a route or path I felt expected to take.

Instead, I found myself making different choices.

Choices that felt more aligned with my own curiosity, interests and experiences.

And you know what? Eventually, in the late 1990s, while sharing a house with four very enthusiastic Star Wars fans, I finally sat down and watched the original trilogy with them.

In hindsight, I quietly suspect there may have been some form of dare, bribe or promise involving household chores somewhere along the way.

To my complete surprise… I loved it! And I’ve watched it a couple more times since. Though before you ask… no, I’m still not a devoted Star Wars follower but I still find the whole thing quite amusing.

These days, particularly through yoga and meditation practices and some wonderful teachers along the way, I’ve become far more aware of how often the word should sneaks its way into my mind and voice.

Light can reveal possibilities we may not have noticed before.

Over time, I’ve realised my reaction to the word should has quietly followed me into many parts of life – including photography.

“I should know this.”

“I should be doing more.”

“I should…”

Just recently, I was listening to a photography-related software update and in the introduction, without much context, I heard the words

“This is what you should do”

In that moment, I immediately noticed a familiar response within me… one that in the past would have caused me to turn my attention elsewhere.

I know the sentiment almost always comes from a good place. Someone sharing what works or worked for them, wanting to be helpful. And at times, I’m sure I’ve been somewhat guilty of saying it too.

What I’ve been practising for some time now, however, is replacing should with could. Not only in the way I listen to others, but in how I communicate too.

What could I do?

What are my options?

What feels most aligned with what genuinely interests me?

I also hear ‘shoulds’ in the way people talk about their own photography.

“I should know how to do this by now…”

“I should be shooting in manual mode…”

“I should be getting better results…”

And this is when photography can start to feel more like following directives or rules… rather than exploring what might be possible.

Something I’ve come to believe is that, over time, following being told 'you should do' can begin to limit your curiosity… and restrict your freedom to simply try things and see what happens. Sometimes, it can even lead to someone giving up something they once felt passionate about.

The thing is, photography doesn’t really work like that.

There’s more than one way to arrive at an image – and the one that matters most is the one that feels right to you.

But when you’re starting out, all the ideas you hear can quickly become a little overwhelming… and it’s easy to fall into simply following directives and so-called rules.

Instead of feeling free, it can start to feel confusing.

Just to start with, you have a range of modes on your camera.

Add aperture, shutter speed, ISO.

Plus different ways of focusing, metering, adjusting…

and then there’s the light, the conditions and the environment you’re working in as well – along with understanding the subject or scene you’re photographing.

Often, you read or hear something about a combination of settings you should use. But without it being explained in a way that helps you understand why – or how those settings may need to shift in different shooting conditions – how can you confidently make informed choices to create the kind of image you’re hoping for?

There's a ripple effect with every choice you make.

There’s no single set of settings or one “correct” way to approach taking a photograph.

When I’m tutoring, one of the most common questions I hear is:

“What settings should I use?”

 Or sometimes they'll say “Just tell me the settings I should be using.”

On other occasions, I might ask why someone has chosen a particular setting, and the answer is sometimes along the lines of:

“I was told this is the best mode (or setting) to use, so I’ve always done it that way.”

So, I’ll gently ask: “Do you know why?”

And often, the answer is: “Not really… it’s just what I’ve heard or read works.”

Now this is completely understandable… because you follow the steps you’ve been given and sometimes it works.

But other times, it doesn’t quite give you what you were hoping for.

And when it doesn’t work, you may start to wonder what you’re doing wrong.

This is where frustration can begin to creep in.

Conditions will always shift around us… but we still get to choose how we could respond.

Something to always remember...

It’s often not because you’re doing something entirely wrong, rather more because you haven’t yet been given the full picture of how different settings, conditions and choices work together.

When I’m guiding and tutoring, I much prefer an experiential approach to learning – one built around practice, support and understanding rather than rigid instruction.

I’m not here to tell you what you should do.

I’m here to help you understand what you can do.

To explore the options available to you.

To understand how different modes and settings shape the outcome.

To notice what changes when you adjust one thing over another.

And I’m by your side as you try different approaches and gently encourage you to change the word should to could.

Because that’s where things start to click.

You begin to recognise what works for the kind of image you’re trying to create.

You start to make choices with intention, rather than guesswork.And slowly, you build a way of working that feels like your own.

It’s not about narrowing things down too quickly.

It’s about opening things up first… and helping you discover what’s possible.

Clarity often reveals itself gradually, not all at once.

So, if you’ve ever felt unsure about which setting to use or wondered why something works one moment and not the next, you’re not alone.

But you don’t have to figure it out on your own.

Once you understand your options, you’re no longer simply following directives or rules.

You’re making choices.

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Do you notice yourself saying things that begin with “I should”?

Perhaps, if you’re like me, hearing someone say “you should” gets a little on your nerves too.

And maybe there’s something worth exploring in replacing a few of those shoulds … with coulds.

If this topic resonates with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts – and others may too. Feel free to share your perspective in a comment below.